You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
