I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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