nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
