this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
