She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
