the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Randomize
