So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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