im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
