oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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