Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
