he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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