Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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