butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
