This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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