Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
