We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
