Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
