Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
