Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We left the knife in your bed.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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