There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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