his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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