I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
