I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Walk of Shame today included voting.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
