Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
