YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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