And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
