this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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