Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
