Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
whose ass print is on the piano?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
