it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
