Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Randomize
