I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
