Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You are the jesus of drinking
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
