how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
