oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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