dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
