I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I need moral support for this bender
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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