Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Dick very happy bro
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
