You're so nebulous sometimes
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
