Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
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