i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Randomize
