6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
