She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
