I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
