Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
