And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
