Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
