i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
