sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
