So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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